Introduction
This information will help you understand your choices as you
consider adoption.
Key points in making your decision
If you have
had infertility problems and are thinking of adopting a child, consider the
following while making your decision:
- Successful adoption and long-term parenting
requires the commitment of both partners and a dependable support system. The
need for a solid support system is even more important for a single adoptive
parent.
- There are many adoption options available to Americans,
both domestically and abroad. The Internet can be an efficient and useful tool
for researching adoption information.
- The adoption application and
placement process can be as time-consuming and expensive as infertility
treatment. While a U.S. or international infant adoption can take a year or
longer, a U.S. minority adoption can take less than a year.
- Some
adoption agencies have parental age and other restrictions for infant adoption.
If you are in your mid-30s and are considering infant adoption, you may have to
weigh agency requirements against your own timeline for starting an adoption
process.
If you need more information about infertility
treatment for comparison with adoption options, see the topic
Fertility Problems.
Medical Information
What basic information do I need to know about adoption?
Information helps you feel more in control when faced with complex
adoption and infertility decisions. First orient yourself with the following
basics about adoption.
- You can choose between many
types of adoption, including various combinations of independent, public or
private agency, domestic or international, and open or closed
adoptions.
- A small number of
adoption information Web sites can provide you with
detailed information. Start with the National Adoption Information
Clearinghouse (NAIC).
- The adoption process involves extended
waiting periods for information and processing, and ultimately bringing a child
home.
- Some adoption agencies provide supportive services to help
adoptive families adjust to their new lives together.
What are the risks of adopting?
As with parenting
a biological child, raising an adopted child confronts you with a list of
unknowns. Physical, intellectual, and mental health issues can unfold over time
whether your child is biological or adopted.
Adoption poses its
own risks and concerns, such as the possibility that an adoption process may
not go through, unknowns about a child's genetic and health background, and
attachment and behavior issues related to separation or neglect. The birth
mother and father may have the legal right to change their minds about placing
their child for adoption. In some states, relinquishment is final as soon as
the legal papers are signed; and in other states, a period of time is allowed
for the birth parents to change their minds.
Are you ready to adopt?
As you prepare for this
possibility:
- Spend time exploring adoption options, costs,
and timelines before you make a final decision to try or to discontinue
infertility treatment.
- Think and talk about
questions to consider about adoption.
- Be
aware that one of you may be ready to adopt long before the other. Some couples
report that it has taken months to years before they were both ready to start
the adoption process.
- Before proceeding with an adoption, allow yourselves time to
grieve your lost hopes for a biological child.
If you need more information, see the topic
Fertility Problems.
Your Information
The decision about whether to adopt a child takes into
account your personal feelings and the medical facts.
Deciding whether to adopt | Reasons to adopt a
child | Reasons not to adopt a
child |
|---|
- You want to be a parent.
- You
have set a limit on infertility testing or treatment, after which adoption is
your next step toward starting or adding to your family.
- You are
both committed to the plan to adopt. Or, you are a single person with a strong
support network.
- You understand the costs associated with adopting
and have the resources for it.
- You have concerns about passing
along a genetic condition to a biological child.
Are there other reasons you might want to
adopt? | - You have a strong desire to have children
who share your genetic traits.
- One partner is not comfortable with
raising an adopted child.
- The expense of adopting is beyond your
means.
- You have family members with strong opposition to
adoption.
- If you are considering an
independent adoption, your adoption attorney or
counselor has noted signs that the birth mother or father will not follow
through with the adoption.
Are there other reasons you might not want to
adopt? |
These
personal stories may help you make your
decision.
Wise Health Decision
Use this worksheet to help you make your decision.
After completing it, you should have a better idea of how you feel about
adoption. Discuss the worksheet with your doctor.
Circle the
answer that best applies to you.
| I am certain that adoption is right for me. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| My partner is certain that adoption is right for
him/her. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| Even though I do not have a parenting partner, I
do have a strong support network in my community. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I would like to adopt a child who is as much like
me as possible. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I can envision adopting and raising a child of a
different race than mine. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I can envision adopting and raising a child with
special emotional or physical needs. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I/we have the financial resources and stability to
adopt and support a child. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I have researched the many adoption options
available to us/me. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I/we would be interested in joining an adoption
support group before adopting. | Yes | No | Unsure |
| I am comfortable with the idea of making our/my
personal and financial information known during the adoption application
process. | Yes | No | Unsure |
Use the following space to list any other important
concerns you have about this decision.
What is your overall impression?
Your answers in
the above worksheet are meant to give you a general idea of where you stand on
this decision. You may have one overriding reason to adopt or not adopt.
Check the box below that represents your overall impression about your
decision.
Leaning toward adopting | | Leaning toward NOT adopting |
Return to the topic
Fertility Problems.
